Dialogues and Scenario for The Beach movie
My name is Richard.
So what else do you need to know?
Stuff about my family or where I'm from?
None of that matters.
Not once you cross the ocean
and cut yourself loose...
...looking for something more beautiful,
something more exciting...
...and yes, I admit,
something more dangerous.
So after 18 hours in
the back of an airplane...
...three dumb movies, two plastic meals,
six beers and absolutely no sleep...
...I finally touch down...
- Hey, you! How about you?
- ..in Bangkok.
Do you want to go to the waterfall?
Floating market!
1,500$. Cheap for you! Come on! Hey!
Hey! Do you need somewhere to stay?
- I'll find my own place, thanks.
- What you want, man?
And this is it. Bangkok.
Good-time city.
Gateway to Southeast Asia.
Where dollars and Deutschmarks get turned
into counterfeit watches and genuine scars.
Good time! Boy! Girl! Fucking!
No problem!
- This is where the hungry come to feed.
- You wanna drink snake blood?
Wait a minute. Did you say snake blood?
Oh, yeah!
- No, thanks.
- What is wrong with snake blood?
- I just... don't like the idea.
- Maybe you're scared.
- Afraid of something new.
- I just don't like the idea.
Like every tourist!
You want it all be safe.
Just like America!
So never refuse an invitation.
Never resist the unfamiliar.
Never fail to be polite.
Gentlemen,...
...that was excellent.
And never outstay your welcome.
Just keep your mind open
and suck in the experience.
And if it hurts,...
...it's probably worth it.
Hey.
- Good evening.
- Hi.
- Can I get a room, please?
- Yes.
The only downer is,
everyone's got the same idea.
We all travel thousands of miles...
...just to watch TV and check into somewhere
with all the comforts of home.
And you gotta ask yourself,...
We'll have this place cleaned up
in a jiffy, so don't you worry!
...what is the point of that?
- Et voila!
- Thank you.
Bonsoir.
Bonsoir.
Good night.
And as for traveling alone,...
...fuck it!
If that's the way it has to be,
then that's the way it is.
Everybody happy?!
Everybody having a good time, eh?
Fuck you! Fuck you!
Please shut up, OK?
Bastard parasites!
Viruses!
That's fuckin' great! Cancers!
Bastard cancers!
He! Tu vas fermer ta putain de gueule?!
A big, chunky Charlie
that's eatin' up the whole fuckin' world!
Hey!
Hey, you!
- You got anything to smoke?
- No, I don't have anything to smoke!
That's no problem, pal, cos, er...
...I've got loads of the fuckin' stuff.
Do ya understand what I'm sayin'?
Yeah.
No, you don't.
No, you're right. I don't.
Ahh, that's better!
Thanks.
It was the beach. You understand?
The beach. It was too...
...beautiful. Too much input, too much...
sensation. I try to keep it under control...
...but it just keeps spilling out
and spilling out and spilling out.
You see, erm...
...she's on an island.
And the island is... is perfect.
I mean... I mean, real perfection here.
I'm not just talking about...
"Oh, that's nice."
it's the real fuckin' deal, OK?
It's perfect.
See, it's like a... a lagoon.
Ya know, a tidal... lagoon.
See, it's sealed in by cliffs.
Totally fuckin' secret, totally fuckin'...
...forbidden.
And nobody can ever, ever...
...ever, ever go there. Ever.
But a few people went...
...once upon a time.
Men and women with ideals.
You understand?
I'm not just talking about the usual...
travelin' fuckin' wanks.
Do you believe in that place?
No.
But I guess you're gonna tell me
that I should, right?
It does not fuckin' matter
what I think any more.
It's up to you.
Ideals, eh?
We were just fuckin' parasites!
The big, chunky Charlie!
See, I was the one...
...that was trying to find the cure.
Procurer of the cure.
I said to them "You've got to leave."
"You've got to leave this place."
But they would not listen.
No offense an' all, but...
...you're fucked in the head, right?
Here, Richard.
It's been nice knowin' you, man.
Yeah. You, too.
Be careful! Electric... Electricity!
- Ma'am! Ma'am!
- Chill, man!
No worry!
Hey! Man.
There is a letter for you.
A what?
Letter on your door.
No fuckin' way!
Do you...
Hello?
You hope...
...and you dream...
...but you never believe that
something's gonna happen for you.
Not like it does in the movies.
And when it actually does...
...you want it to feel different.
More visceral.
More real.
I was waiting for it to hit me.
But it just wouldn't happen.
The name of Mr. Daffy Duck.
Never Never Land.
Gonna fuck up all the paperwork.
The police were pissed because he was
traveling under a false passport.
Go ahead, sign the statement.
It's OK.
It just say he cut his wrists -
already dead when you found him.
But they didn't ask me about the map, so...
No problem.
...I didn't tell 'em.
You have a nice day.
Good luck!
Excuse me.
Look... I mean...
...this island may not actually even exist.
Even if it does, I don't know
if we can get there or not.
I just wondered if you wanted
to come with me.
That's all.
Hey! You wanna take a hike?
Uh... a-a trip, a journey?
With y-your girlfriend and me?
I mean, the two of you and me. Together.
- I-I'm talking about the secret isla-...
- Hi.
Hi.
I just feel like everyone tries
to do something different, but...
...you always wind up doing the same thing.
I realised that I had absolutely no idea
of how I was gonna get there.
But Etienne...
I mean, I have to hand it
to the guy. He was great.
I mean, he organized
the whole thing - tickets...
...timetables, the whole damn trip.
Bangkok to Surat Thani.
Surat Thani to Na Thon.
Na Thon to Chaweng.
500 miles in 24 hours...
...at less than 400 baht.
Trust me, that's a very good deal.
We were headed for the great unknown.
But to get there, we had to follow
the regular tourist trail.
♪ A little less pushin' and shovin' ♪
♪ Take it easy ♪
♪ You could even get sleazy ♪
♪ Come around ♪
♪ Watch a movie ♪
♪ With the sound down ♪
♪ And get woozy... ♪
It's arranged. Tomorrow morning. 1800 baht.
Ah, great man! Nice work!
There is one problem.
He will not take us to the island.
It's in the national park
and it's forbidden to go there. But...
...we are allowed to travel to this one
to stay for one night.
Yeah... No, see, that's the wrong one.
Yeah, I know that.
Right. But how do we get
from there to there?
- We swim.
- We swim?
Yeah. We leave our rucksacks
on this island and then we swim.
- You can swim, can't you, Richard?
- Of course I can swim.
- So no problem.
- So h-how far is it, though?
I don't know. One or two kilometers.
- Cool. Cool... Not far at all
- Stop it, Richard. It will be worth it.
An adventure. And just... the three of us.
Uh-oh.
"Can you swim?"
"I can swim! Oh, yeah! I am French and
I have the beautiful girlfriend, too! Huh!"
Great
- Goddammit!
- Locked out, huh?
Yeah.
- Lost your key?
- Uh-huh.
- Bummer!
- Yeah, bummer!
So, uh... you wanna
grab a beer or somethin'?
- You're better off without her.
- Sammy, how the fuck would you know?!
You've never even met her!
I'm just tryin' to help the guy
through the dark times.
- It's not a problem.
- You see, Zeph?
- It's not a problem.
- Change the fuckin' subject.
All right. Let's talk about how you spend
an hour in front of the mirror every day.
Oh, that's nice You know this guy?
He likes to wipe his ass with tree leaves.
He thinks he's some sort of
jungle commando.
- Whatever.
- I swear to God!
- Whatever.
- Damn!
I presume...
...you know the story
of the Kentucky fried mouse.
Yeah.
Woman bites into a chicken leg...
...and it turns out to be, uh... a mouse.
Right?
It's an urban myth.
Exactly. It always happened
to a friend of a friend of someone else.
- So?
- So...
...I guess there's this urban myth
goin' around here at the moment.
It's about a beach.
- Yeah?
- Uh-huh.
And this beach is... perfect, man.
It's on an island, right?
Hidden from the sea.
Now, imagine. You got...
...pure white sand.
Crystal-clear water.
- Palm trees.
- Yeah, with coconuts and shit!
Yo, tell him the best part, dawg.
Plus...
...enough dope, Richard...
...to smoke all day, every day...
- ..for the rest of your goddamn life!
- Yeah! Mad weed!
Only a few people know exactly where
it is, and they keep it absolutely secret.
No one's actually ever met
any of these people.
Exactly. It's a Kentucky fried mouse!
Hm!
Although, if I had a key to a place like that...
...I'd keep it to myself cos... you don't want
every fuckin' asshole in Thailand...
...turnin' up! Boo-boo!
Yeah, yeah.
So whaddaya think
about that story, Richard?
It's good.
It's a good story.
Hey, you! I got your key!
Now, I know it wasn't a part of the plan...
...but I made a decision
to leave a copy of the map.
I'm not gonna say it was
the best decision I ever made.
I told myself that spreading news
is a part of a traveler's nature.
But if I was being completely honest...
...I was just like everybody else:
...shit-scared of the great unknown.
Desperate to take
a little piece of home with me.
- Richard?
- Are you ready?
Yeah, yeah. I'm coming.
Let's go.
Feel dead
Feel dead
Feel dead
Feel dead
Happy
Francoise?
Chut! Etienne will be angry if I wake him.
He thinks I waste time,
taking photographs of the sky.
Oh...
- I think so, too.
- Yeah?
Have a look.
One night, I will get the perfect photograph.
Hi!
Whoa!
You realise that...
...in the eternity of space...
...there's probably a planet out there, right...
...just like this one...
...where another you...
...is photographing back down towards us.
I mean, essentially, you are photographing
yourself in a parallel universe.
Incredible.
Yeah...
There are infinite worlds out there, ya know?
Where anything you want to happen...
...does happen.
Richard, do you know something?
Hm?
This is just the kind of pretentious bullshit...
...Americans always say to French girls...
so they can sleep with them.
God! Sorry.
I thought I was doin' pretty good.
It's just the sky, Richard. Let's try.
Yeah.
Idiot.
Un, deux, trois...
...quatre.
When you develop
an infatuation for someone...
...you always find a reason to believe
that this is exactly the person for you.
It doesn't need to be a good reason.
Taking photographs of the night sky,
for example.
Now, in the long run...
...that's just the kind of dumb, irritating habit
that would cause you to split up.
But in the haze of infatuation...
...it's just what you've been searching for
all these years.
- One kilometer.
- Two.
- Richard?
- I don't know. I'm American.
- So?
- We think in miles, not kilometers.
OK. So how many miles do you think it is?
I don't know.
But it looks like a long way away.
If it's too far, we're gonna drown.
But if we don't try,
we'll never know, right?
Right.
So let's go!
Whoo!
- Are you guys all right?
- Yeah, we're OK.
I think we're about halfway.
Oh, fuck! Richard!
- Fuck!
- What?
I saw a fin!
- Tsk! What? Are you joking?
- No, no, no!
A fin!
OK, a shark fin?
I don't know. Just a fin.
Over there, about 100 metres.
- Well, was it big?
- Yes.
What the fuck do you expect me
to do about it?!
Nothing! I just thought you should know.
To be honest, I'd rather you hadn't told me!
- OK, I'm sorry.
- Well, it's a bit fuckin' late now, isn't it?!
Francoise! Francoise! She's gone!
Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God! OK, what happened?
- She just went under the water!
She was pulled under!
Francoise!
Francoise! I don't see her!
Oh, fuck! It's her bag!
OK. Was there a shark?
Did you see a shark, Etienne?
I don't know!
I don't know!
Fuck!
Don't fuck me!
Fuck you!
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Oh, you Europeans, you're so funny
You have such a playful sense of humor
No wonder your comedy
has conquered the world
- What about Moliere?
- Who?
Oh, fuck off!
- Agh!
- Come on.
Wow!
Now, this is what I call a lot of dope!
Oh, putain!
T'as dupapiera rouler?
Hey! Tch, tch, tch!
OK... OK...
We're gonna go this way.
OK? Shut up. Shut up.
Argh! Agh!
Sure, we should've turned back.
But I wasn't going to.
Not now.
I just kept telling them we'd get there.
"Trust me...
...it's paradise."
if we take this down,
it should lead us all the way.
Come on!
Oh, God!
Putain de merde!
Well?
- Well what?
- How do we get down?
How am I supposed to know?
Do I have to decide everything?
- We'll jump.
- Fuck! You wanted to be in command!
I only took command because
you lost your nerve, French boy!
Yeah. And look where you've taken us!
- We'll jump.
- If you're not happy...
...you can just take over. All right, sir?!
All right, I will.
- There. We climb down there.
- We can jump.
Francoise! Look... We're not gonna jump!
All right? So just can it!
And as for climbing down there...
...that is just...
...an asshole suggestion!
- Calling me an asshole?
- Yeah. And that's just the start of it.
- All right, fuckface, let's do it!
- Motherfucker!
Francoise!
- Shit!
- Francoise!
Come on, guys! It's OK!
It's not dangerous! Come on!
Drop the bags down! Come on!
All right. So we'll jump.
Oh, fuck!
Whoa!
Whoo-hoo!
Did you see that? Shit!
Whoo! Whoo-hoo!
Yes!
Whoo-hoo!
Oh, my God!
Congratulations!
Took me the best part of an hour
to work up the balls to do that.
Mind you, I was on my own, so you have to
make allowances. Ya know what I mean?
I think maybe you'd better meet up with Sal.
Jesus Christ! We're fuckin' here!
Do ya realise that?
Don't you go anywhere!
All right.
You're doin' well.
- Ciao! Sonja! A que si?
- Hi.
Noisy kitchen!
How are ya doin'?
- What's for dinner?
- One guess. Fish.
I don't know what we expected.
People living in a cave,
maybe even a few guys in tents.
Gregorio!
But nothing like this.
- How are you, Keaty?
- Don't smoke 'em!
It was like we arrived into a lost world.
A full-scale community of travelers - not just
passing through, but actually living here.
I suddenly became aware...
...that we weren't even invited.
- The guy who drew it?
- Daffy.
Yeah... Yeah. He's dead.
What? No way!
Yeah. He cut his wrists open
in a hotel room on the Khao San Road.
- You have seen this?!
- Well, I came afterwards.
Well, that's sad news.
He was... one of the founders
of our community.
Oh.
But he became depressed.
Crazy.
The police didn't know what to do with
the body, so I guess they'll incinerate him.
Do you think he gave a map to anybody else?
L-I... No, I don't think so.
And you. Have you
shown this map to anybody?
No.
No.
No.
Good.
We value our secrecy.
- Yeah!
- Whoo!
You hear that? You hear that?
Look at this guy.
Oh, c'est magnifique.
Oh, it's so fucking beautiful, man!
- Neighbours!
- Hey! I've got your oils, man.
I want to give you something.
Listen up, everybody.
OK.
Tomorrow, I will travel
for many miles on a bicycle.
Um...
Vicki.
Uh... Uh...
Uh... Sutra cuputovati...
...mnogo milja biciklom.
Great! Very good. Helene?
Very good!
Sutra cuputovati... mnogo milja biciklom.
Very good.
Right. It's far too easy, though.
- Oh, please!
- Yes! OK.
Sutra cuputovatimnogo
milja biciklom. Da posetim svoju tatu...
...koji cuva koze na planini.
There's more, ya know!
- You always know everything!
- Richard!
Sutra...
...cu...
...putovati...
...mnogo milja biciklom.
Yes! Richard!
Represented, man!
Sutra cuputovati
mnogo milja biciklom.
This became our world.
And these people, our family.
Back home was just one more place
we didn't think about.
I settled in.
I found my vocation:
...the pursuit...
...of pleasure.
Sal was the leader.
But it wasn't a big deal. I mean,
there wasn't any ideology or shit like that.
It was just a beach resort...
for people who don't like beach resorts.
...some of us build.
Even paradise takes a little shaping.
For years, they kept this place a secret.
They didn't need to tell anyone.
They were practically self-sufficient.
They just had to sail back once in a while
to trade a little marijuana and buy some rice.
We grow our own, so no stealing
from the farmers on the other side.
And do they know that you're living here?
Oh, yeah. But they keep to their side
and we don't trespass on their turf.
A couple of years ago, they said that we
could stay, but nobody else should come.
- Which kind of suits us as well.
- So you was lucky, ya know.
Very lucky.
There was Keaty, who only cared
about two things.
Thank you, Lord...
...for the twin pillars of civilization:
...Christianity...
...and cricket.
There were the Swedes:
...Christo, Sten and Karl.
We like fishing.
- And in the winter, we like skiing.
- Yeah!
Of course, in Thailand, there is no skiing.
We wait, OK?
We wait for the fish to come.
Get it?
- Shit! No way!
- Whoo!
And I said to thee "I shall provide!"
Yeah!
- Stop it.
- What?
Our resident chef was known as Unhygenix.
Let's cook!
On account of his obsession with soap.
Fish, fish, fish!
Still I smell offish!
There was a range of sporting
and leisure activities to suit all tastes.
Etienne is good at soccer.
Ya know, I could do that if I wanted to.
- I just don't want to.
- What are you talking about?
- Making conversation.
- Do you have a girlfriend?
- Here?
- Anywhere.
No. Why?
Just making conversation.
Whoo!
Right arm over wicket. Three balls remaining.
Is there anyone who still doesn't understand?
The only person I didn't like was Sal's
boyfriend, Bugs - our on-island carpenter.
Hey, Richard! Can you do this?
Can you make anything?
A man should have a talent in his hands.
Here we go, people!
Surprise!
So every community has its rituals.
The last one to arrive tattoos the next.
It fuckin' hurts, OK?
What did he say?
Agh!
Andy, bring yours closer.
Come on, Richard!
Ohhhh, God!
Ohh, God!
Ohh, Jesus!
That fuckin' hurt!
All in all, this really was paradise.
Except for one thing.
Desire is desire...
...wherever you go.
The sun will not bleach it...
...nor the tide wash it away.
Francoise.
She's just teasin' ya.
What are you talking about?
You don't speak French.
He speaks French.
In fact, even better than that, four:
...he is French.
He's much better at football -
sorry, soccer - than you.
You're a bit strange, Rich.
Some girls like that in a man, but not
the sort of girls you wanna be with.
- Is that right?
- Come on, your last girlfriend chucked ya.
- It was not my fault!
- Look at your thumbs, man!
- They're well-defined.
- What does that mean?
You play a lot of video games!
That is a powerful index of incompatibility.
Why do I get the feeling
you're trying to tell me something?
You haven't a hope - not a bleedin'
chicken's chance in Thailand.
- Know what I mean?
- Thank you.
So, enjoy the beach and cut the bullshit.
- Thank you very much.
- It's my pleasure!
No, you cannot... No!
No! No, leave me!
- Leave me!
- Hey! That's my bed!
- I can deal with it!
- I don't want you to deal with it!
It won't take a minute.
Really, no! No, I must go to mainland!
I'm sick. I've got to. Sal!
What's this? You want to go
to the mainland to see a dentist?
- Yes.
- It's out of the question.
Come on!
It'll be fun.
Be brave.
How's it going, Richard?
Fine. Fine.
- Are you OK with this?
- Yeah.
I mean, we have a secret here, right?
Sometimes people need to
take a little pain to keep it that way.
Excellent.
Excellent attitude.
No problem.
Oh, shit!
Good work!
Kill the pain, boy.
Take a drink.
Richard.
Yeah?
Would you like to come
to the beach with me?
Sure. Yeah.
Are you happy, Richard?
Happy?
Yeah.
Yeah... Yeah, I-l guess.
I mean, the beach, ya know,
it's just perfect.
Do you think that I ignore you?
No.
But I do.
It's because I'm with Etienne.
It's difficult for me to spend time with you.
I don't suppose that there's any...
you know, special reason that you should.
- Spend time with me, that is.
- Of course there is.
I like you.
A lot.
Have you... Have you
told this to Etienne? Or...
No.
It's our secret.
OK.
Look! There! The plankton. Shrimps.
When they're disturbed, they glow.
Come on!
Song "I'm coming, not drowning"
♪ Swimming closer to you ♪
♪ I'm moving ♪
♪ I feel it ♪
♪ I'm coming, not drowning ♪
♪ I'm moving, I feel it ♪
♪ I'm coming, not drowning ♪
♪ I'm moving, I'm coming ♪
♪ Can you hear what I hear? ♪
♪ it's calling you, my dear... ♪
That night, we promised ourselves,
and we honestly believed...
...that no one would ever know.
- I wanna talk.
- About what?
About you and Francoise.
Whaddaya mean... me and Francoise?
I mean, Richard...
- ..that I want her to be happy.
- Yeah.
I mean, of course.
- We all do, right?
- Shut up!
Please shut the fuck up.
And if happy is with you...
...then I will not stand in her way.
Etienne, man, I...
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Fuck you, Richard! I know!
OK? I know!
Everybody knows!
The problem is seeing the fish.
With the heavy rain and the bad light...
...it's very difficult to catch them.
It can last for days.
Sometimes...
...we get really hungry.
Gimme that.
Richard!
Richard! Richard!
Come out!
I can't hear you!
And you can't hear me.
- Shark!
- Come!
Shark!
Ohh!
All right, all right.
All right, all right, all right!
Shh!
Now before I start, there's just
a couple of things you have to remember.
You have to remain calm.
Right?
You have to show no fear.
- Teach it, teach it.
- Because the sharks...
You see, the sharks, they can sense that fear.
Just as easily as they can sense blood.
And so it went for me.
Just as I knew it would.
Just as nature had ordained.
Its... jaw wide open.
Row upon row of these razor-sharp teeth
glinting underwater like... jagged diamonds.
It's tail fin sweeping back and forth
as it surged in for the kill.
I swear to God...
...my whole life
flashed before my eyes.
Really.
I had nothing left to offer
except for pure reflex.
Pure reflex...
...and mankind's basic drive for survival
that somehow...
...shouts "No! I will not die today!"
- Yes!
- Whoo!
At that instant, I knew
it was either the shark or me.
The shark knew it.
I knew it.
But jeez... God!
It's nothin' personal, right? It's just
the way the world works. It's nature.
But... if I remember correctly...
...in that last glimmer of its eyes...
...there was a moment between us...
...where it said "Hey, Richard, man."
"Enjoy your dinner."
Strange thing, killing a shark,
isn't it, Richard?
It's just a big fish, Bugs.
Just a big fish?
Yeah, maybe! Maybe when it's just a baby
and it hasn't really learned to kill yet.
Then maybe it's just a big fish.
But when it's a great white angry mother
with the taste of blood on its tongue...
...now that's a different story.
Oh, God! Jeez...
I'm sorry, Bugs. Is it just me?
Or does this wet weather
make everyone so damn tired?
Maybe we can hear your very different
and, I'm sure, very interesting story...
...some other time, huh?-...
Very interesting, Keaty!
Verlo interesantno.
Molto interessante!
- Good night, young lovers.
- Shut up!
For a while, we were untouchable
in our happiness.
All right! Everybody!
Quiet!
We have a situation. It's not a disaster.
But as some of you may have heard...
...a couple of sacks of rice have
become contaminated by a fungus.
- Yeah.
- It's cos we keep it in that shack.
- How many more times must this happen?
- Rice run!
Which means that...
...someone will have to come
to Ko Pha-Ngan to buy more rice.
So don't all volunteer at once
Richard.
Yeah?
Are you gonna come
to Ko Pha-Ngan with me?
- I don't know. I mean...
- I'll go with you.
Don't worry, Bugs. Richard's gonna come.
Am I?
- Who thinks Richard should come?
- Absolutely.
All right. Then I'll go
to Ko Pha-Ngan with you.
So, Richard...
...I want toothpaste and...
and a toothbrush, yeah?
Right.
Uh... a new pair of swim trunks
and a new hat.
Richard...
100 aspirin, 100 paracetamol,
six packs of tampons.
...and four AA batteries... and 20 condoms.
Make it 40 condoms.
And a bottle of vodka.
- Six bars of chocolate.
- Uh... Fuck!
Four boxes of tampons. Assorted sizes.
Smell it. It's a part of me.
I am becoming a fish, Richard.
Ordinary soap for ordinary people
is a waste of time.
I need something toxic,
something industrial. OK?
OK.
A tin of beef curry. Yummy.
- Yummy.
- As many AAA batteries as you can find.
And a copy of...
...The Daily Telegraph.
It's just for the cricket, ya know.
Oh.
- Please, fill this bag with a soft bog roll.
- Soft bog roll?
Jasmine tea, Tiger balm, lip balm,
tea tree oil, bath oil...
A big box of bleach.
...hair conditioner, skin conditioner...
- Anything based on sugar.
- 12 packs of Rizla.
Cumin, saffron, cinnamon.
...antiperspirant and make-up remover.
Whaddaya want?
Oh-hoh! Ow! Oh... OK...
When you get to Ko Pha-Ngan,
keep your hands to yourself...
...and your dick in your pants.
Agh...
Oh! Shit!
Oh, shit!
I'd been looking forward
to air conditioning and cold beer...
...but when we got to Ko Pha-Ngan...
...I just wanted to leave again.
In one moment, I understood more clearly
than ever why we were so special...
...why we kept our secret.
Because if we didn't...
...sooner or later, they'd turn it into this.
Cancers.
Parasites.
Eating up the whole fuckin' world.
A couple of months.
Maybe... maybe a year, even.
Yeah, really.
What?
L-I like it out here, you know.
Things are different.
I said, things are different!
Yeah.
No, I'll call again. I'll call again. I promise.
OK?
I miss you, too.
All right.
OK.
All right. Bye!
Bye...
How does it feel
to be back in the real world?
- It's not like I remembered it.
- It gets worse every time.
It is Richard! Damn!
God! How are ya doin', man?
Damn!
Aw, Sammy, come on over, man!
- Ricardo! What's up, bro?
- Girls, I want you to meet the man!
- The man!
- Hilda und Eva, das ist Richard.
- Hello.
- The man with the map.
- Der Mensch mit der Wanderkarte?
- Ja!
They're gonna come with us, bro'.
Sorry it's been so long, but you know...
Uh, listen, guys, I... I made a mistake.
What are you talking about, man?
No, listen to me. There's no beach.
- I can't believe we're seeing you, dude!
- No beach?
Yeah. No, seriously, the map thing?
It was fake.
- It was a story.
- Right
No! It's... it's a myth. Really.
It doesn't exist.
- C'mon...
- The map was a fake. Understand?
You wouldn't be
holding out on us, would ya?
Let me guess. It's a fuckin' paradise!
Aw, man! What are you
talkin' about? Yo, Zeph.
- I think he's just tryin' to...
- I'm tellin' ya to forget it, all right, asshole?!
That's the last time
I buy you a fuckin' beer!
So you told them
where you were going?
Yeah.
And they saw the map?
- Mm-hm.
- Do they have a copy?
No.
OK.
Well, we can relax for a bit.
I doubt they have it in them
to get there anyway. But, Richard...
...I don't think we should tell anybody.
OK? I think we should
keep it between you and I.
Thanks.
Don't mention it.
Phew!
Well, I'm going to go and play...
...a couple of games of pool with Sumet.
Sumet!
Snook?
So why don't you go...
...and warm the bed?
Come on! Mm!
Sal?
- Sal?
- Mm-hm?
I just have a question.
It was very nice.
No. That's not it.
It's about Bugs.
OK...
it's like this.
Bugs is my boyfriend.
My partner.
OK?
And you... are someone I just had sex with.
- All right?
- That... that's fine.
- That's absolutely fine.
- Good.
Now get some sleep. I may wish to
have sex again before we eat breakfast.
It was a deal.
She wouldn't tell anyone about the map.
I had paid for her silence
and bought my ticket back.
But I didn't even wanna think
about the real price.
All right, Rich, we're ready!
OK.
- Got it, Keaty?
- Yeah! No probs!
- Richard!
- Problem solved. Here's the bleach.
We got the make-up remover.
I have two of 'em.
Oh...
- Extra! Extra!
- Oh, Richard, man, I love you!
Man, this is gonna last me...
Oh, great! You're lovely.
- Did you get batteries?
- Right here.
Yes!
- I can see my baby! Whoo-hoo!
- Sten, that's all for you. Christo...
Hey, Ricardo!
- Grazie!
- One tin of beef curry?
One... disposable camera.
It's not as good as the one you left behind,
but... what the hell, right?
No, it doesn't matter. I like it.
What's wrong?
- How was it?
- The rice run? Fine.
No problem.
I mean, being with Sal.
Fine. I mean... we got along OK.
Some people say she's attracted to you.
Shit! I... I really wouldn't have noticed that.
- Nothing happened?
- No! Of course not!
You promise?
I was so happy to be back...
...that I couldn't bear to spoil the moment.
Yes.
Yes, I promise.
I missed you.
OK, come on, everybody! Come on, please!
Come on... please.
All together. Close together.
Please!
OK, close together.
OK. Stand back a little bit.
OK...
So, one... two... three!
So I started just where I left off.
It was almost like my trip
to Ko Pha-Ngan never happened.
Almost.
- Agh!
- You'll be all right!
Argh!
Tsk!
Shark!
Shark!
Shaaark!
- He's dead.
- Shut up! He's fuckin' not dead!
My... my...
My leg!
My leg!
We can take you to a hospital,
all right? We can do that.
But when you're there, you mustn't
tell anybody where this happened.
We have to keep our secret.
- Lakaren maste komma hit!
- What's he saying?
He says that we are to
bring help here for him.
He won't go near the water.
I understand that, but we can't
bring anybody here. We can't do that.
- Bring help! You've gotta bring help!
- We can't, Christo!
You have to go. Or you stay here
and take your chances.
- Anyone disagree?
- Karl... varharhantmed Sten?
What is he saying?
He wants to know
what happened to his friend.
We are gathered here today
to say a last respect to Sten.
May God take your soul.
And you will rest forever in peace, mate.
We'll miss ya.
Jag alskar digfrom Christo and me.
Riposati in pace...
...from Lorenzo.
(Guitar plays "Redemption Song")
♪ Old pirates, yes, they rob I ♪
♪ Sold I to the merchant ships ♪
♪ Minutes after they took I ♪
♪ From the bottomless pit ♪
♪ And my hand was made strong ♪
♪ By the hand of the Almighty ♪
♪ We forward in this generation ♪
♪ Triumphantly ♪
♪ Won't you help to sing ♪
♪ These songs of freedom? ♪
♪ Cos all I ever had ♪
♪ Redemption song ♪
♪ Redemption song ♪
Argh!
After the funeral,
we all tried to get back to normal.
But it just didn't seem right.
"...no steady job."
Pretty soon it became clear the problem was Christo.
Shut up!
You see, in a shark attack,
or any other major tragedy, I guess...
...the important thing is to get eaten and die...
...in which case there's a funeral
and somebody makes a speech...
...and everybody says
what a good guy you were.
Or get better...
...in which case everyone can forget about it.
- I can't take this.
- Christo, please!
"..Every two or three autumns."
Great atmosphere
Get better or die.
It's the hanging around in between
that really pisses people off.
Listen to me. You can't do this.
This is disgusting!
Take him back!
- OK, just here.
- Fucking animals!
What are you doing this for? Huh?
Tell me!
How can you do this?
Richard!
Fucking bastards!
Bastards!
It would be a lot easier to condemn
our behaviour if it hadn't been so effective.
But out of sight...
...really was out of mind.
Once he was gone...
...we felt a whole lot better.
On the beach, it's easy to turn your back...
...but not always so easy to forget.
Pay them in dollars, fuck their daughters,
and turn it into Wonderland, Richard!
Richard. Come with me.
Is that, or is that not...
...a map she's holding?
And did you...
...or did you not...
...make that copy?
You know, the lying doesn't bother me.
But that map...
...is trouble!
The farmers, right? You remember,
those men with guns?
They said to us, they told us...
..."No more people."
And now it looks like we're
handing out fucking tour guides!
Sal. I mean...
We could explain, right?
I mean, we could tell 'em it was Daffy.
We could explain?!
I want you up here every day
until those people come.
- Here?
- Yes, here.
I want you to get the map back.
OK? Whatever happens,
you get the map back.
W-Wait! Sal!
- Sal, they could be there for weeks!
- That's right.
- And you'll be here, waiting for them.
- What am I supposed to do when they come?
Get the map!!
You drew it! You handed it out!
Now you get it back and turn them away!
Sal! Sal!
Are you gonna tell 'em what else I did?
Now this was truly a pain in the ass.
I didn't want these people
to come here anymore than Sal did.
But what exactly did she expect me to do?
Chase them away? Threaten them?
I mean, with what?
By the time these kids go there,
I'd probably have starved to death.
Sal?
- Sal, is that you? Get that light outta...
- You're a pig!
Dammit! What the fuck was that for?
There's nothing I can do!
- I have to stay up here!
- Not that, OK?
- What is it, then?
- You and Sal in Ko Pha-Ngan.
Oh, that.
Yeah, that! She has told everyone!
And me, I'm the last one to find out!
At least she believes in honesty. Not like you.
I mean, Francoise, I...
What... what can I say?
Nothing. There's nothing you can say.
Thank you
Thank you for making my life just perfect
Super
God...
...dammit!
Shit!
You are such an idiot!
Even though I knew it would happen...
I was crushed.
And I guess I deserved it.
I coulda given her
all the excuses she wanted...
...but it wouldn't have made any difference.
Great Great
At first, I thought I was gonna die up here...
...that my entire world was gonna end.
But it didn't.
In fact... pretty soon, I found that there were
plenty of other things to keep me occupied.
And before I knew it...
...I found that love, like grief...
...tends to fade away...
...and be replaced by something more exciting.
And life up on the hill turned out
to be a big improvement.
I mean, up here, I could do what ever I wanted.
There was no fishing duty, no gardening shit,
no hassle from Bugs or Etienne or Francoise.
I was playing my own game now.
And I had absolutely no reason to go back.
♪ "Crouch End Broadway Mix" by Blur ♪
OK, so I was just foolin' around.
But the longer I stayed away from
the community... the less I missed them.
And I found new players.
Even if they didn't know it yet.
This forest was my territory.
Retrieving the map... my mission.
And these...
...my defenders.
I was the only one with the overview...
...of how it all fitted together.
The island.
Me.
Them.
The invaders.
All connected.
All playing the same game.
And at the centre of it all...
...one man:
...Daffy.
Inside!
Take a look, Richard!
Viruses, Richard!
Cancers!
The big, chunky Charlie's
eating up the whole world! Out there!
Down on the beach! Down on
the street! Pay them in dollars...
...and fuck their daughters!
It starts with four!
Four! But they multiply! They multiply!
It's time to stop them!
Year zero, kiddo!
Year zero!
Are you with me or against me?
I'm with ya all the way, Daffy!
Ye-ea-ah! Yeah! Yeah!
Richard?
Yeah...
Where you been, man?!
What are you doing, sitting in the dark?
Improving my night vision.
What for, mate?
You know who I think about a lot?
I have no idea.
Daffy.
Daffy?
Uh-huh.
I admire him.
You hardly knew him.
True...
But he had a certain style.
Come here!
Fucking come here!
Yes! They're talking about you.
- You're moaning, that's all.
- I'm not moaning.
- I need to find out what his problem is.
- Do you think I like the guy?
- What does he do all day?
- He does no work in garden.
But he steals our food. I'm sure of it.
You hear what they're saying?
Idle, sponging, useless prick!
Now, get your fucking act together.
You can't run around in the dark
not talking to nobody.
What do you think you're playing at, man?
What's happened to you?
You was all right.
Just a couple of weeks ago, you was fine.
And now, what the fuck is going on?
Look at you!
And you're talking about Daffy?!
Daffy was a nutter, right?
He went out there and he lost it. He's gone!
Richard!
Richard!
Do you hear what I'm saying to you?
Don't lose it like him. Do ya understand?
Don't go there! Stay with us.
Come back, Rich!
These are good people.
They don't talk about people all the time.
They're talking about you
because you're fucked up!
...too much sensation.
...got outta control.
And now it looks like
we're handing out fucking tour guides!
Mushroom, Richard?
No, thank you, Daffy.
I don't need any help
to see the writing on the wall.
- I'm very glad to hear that, Richard.
- Gotta keep my head clear.
- Getting closer, any day now.
- Year zero?
That's the spirit, kiddo.
You know somethin'?
You led the way, Daffy.
You showed me the truth.
But it doesn't matter what I think
any more. It's up to you now.
I won't let you down.
Hey, Richard.
No offense but, erm...
...you're fucked in the head, man.
It's been really nice knowing you, Daffy.
We're on patrol in the Delta.
Search and destroy.
We're not making any contact.
- This lieutenant, he says to me...
- Get out there and draw their fire!
- It's never gonna happen, sir.
- Are you refusing an order, son?
- It looks that way, sir.
- "It looks that way, sir"?!
Then my M-16 just went off, man.
It just went off!
It just went off.
Let's go!
Come back, Sam!
There's no other explanation!
We're in dope heaven!
♪ I smoke two joints in the morning, ♪
♪ I smoke two joints at night ♪
♪ I smoke two joints in the afternoon ♪
♪ and then I feel all right ♪
♪ I smoke two joints in time of peace ♪
♪ And two in time of war ♪
♪ I smoke two joints before two joints ♪
♪ and then I smoke some more! ♪
- Hi.
- Oh, shit!
We're Americans.
Tourists.
- American.
- We, uh... we... we had a... a map.
And we... we came here...
...but we made a mistake. We made a mistake.
And... and we're sorry. We'll go now.
- Come on...
- We go now.
Um...
- We... we just wanna go.
- Give 'em somethin'.
- Give 'em some money.
- Well...
Look! American dollars.
I got American dollars. You want...
...American dol... money?
Here...
- You can have them!
- Hey, hey, hey!
Um...
I've... I've got my watch. It plays a tune.
No! No!
This is our sixth year!
I want to look ahead.
Because I see...
...that beyond any problems
that we might have had...
Right?
...beyond any problems that we might have...
...that we have so much here to inspire us.
And I'm not just talking about the island.
I'm talking about you.
You are what makes this place work.
And it does.
I tried to remember
the person I used to be.
But I just couldn't do it.
To the island!
To you!
And so long as I stayed here...
And to the future!
...I'd never find him again.
♪ "Hard Floor Mix" by Mory Kante ♪
Come with me! I've gotta talk to you!
Listen! I've got to talk to you!
- Stop!
- Mais ca ne va pas, ou quoi!
- Listen!
- Mais tu me laches?!
I've gotta talk to you! Stop!
Francoise, listen! I've gotta talk to you. Stop...
Dammit! Stop! Stop it!
Stop it! Stop it! Stop!
I'm not gonna hurt you! All right?
It's just me. It's just me - Richard.
Remember?
The guy... who can't play soccer?
The guy without a girlfriend?
I remember.
I've just been away for a while.
That's all.
That's all.
- Ils ont tue quatre personnes.
- Le crois pas.
- Il est tare.
- Dis pas n'importe quoipour qu'on s'en aille!
- Tu crois quej'ai envie de resterici?!
- Listen!
Etienne, I've really fucked up! Four people
are dead. I don't know what else they'll do!
But we have to leave now!
That's it! Just the three of us.
- Just like before.
- Richard...
...I can't leave him.
- Then we'll take him with us.
- But... look at him.
Look at him.
We can't move him.
It's gangrene.
It's spreading.
He's gonna die.
♪ "Hard Floor Mix" by Mory Kante ♪
Wait for me at the boat.
Viens, mon ange. On y va.
Christo had suffered because
we wouldn't let anything spoil our fun.
In the perfect beach resort...
...nothing is allowed to interrupt
the pursuit of pleasure.
Not even dying.
Do you think I want to hurt you?
I'm a farmer, that's all.
Understand?
I work.
I send the money to my family.
If too many people come to this island...
...it's trouble for me!
I can't work...
...I can't send the money...
...and my family don't eat!
I said no more people.
But more people come.
And you...
You give them the map!
Now...
...you all go home.
Forget this island. Forget about Thailand!
- Understand? Huh?
- Yeah.
- You understand?!
- Yeah.
No.
What?!
No.
We're not leaving.
This is our home, too.
This is our house!
We built it with our own hands!
And we are not leaving!
Come on, Sal. Sal.
I... I think you're making a big mistake here.
Really.
- If he says that we should leave...
- Richard, shut up!!
This is all your fault anyway.
Who copied the map, Richard?
You are the clever boy.
The one who sneak around!
- No, let him go!
- Steal from us! Play with our guns!
And you bring people here!
If you want to stay...
if you want to stay!
No! No!
No!
Sal... Sal!
- Sal...
- Fuck! Sal, no!
Sal... Listen.
- Don't be crazy, OK?
- You can't!
Don't be crazy, Sal. Put the gun down.
You let us down, Richard.
You brought us trouble.
- You can't, Sal! For fuck's sake!
- No, make her stop! Make her stop!
No!
- Someone help! Keaty! Someone help me!
- Let go! Get outside!
Help me!
Help me! Help me!
You fucking bastards!! Argh!
No! Bugs!
Come on, Sal! Do it, Sal!
Go on, Sal!
You can't do it. You can't do it, Sal.
- Shut up!
- Cos if you pull that trigger...
- If you pull that trigger, it's all fuckin' over!
- Come on.
Cos this time... it's not like Christo rotting
out in the woods where no one could see!
It's not like the four people
that I saw killed today!
This time...
...everyone has to watch, Sal.
Everyone has to see what it takes
to keep our little "paradise" a secret.
- C'mon, everyone! Watch!
- Shut up!
Everyone watch Sal do this!
Go on, Sal, do it.
Come on! Come on, do it! Yeah!
Let 'em see the blood this time, huh? Huh?
Let's see if they can take it.
God!
They can take it.
No! No...
No! No!
C'mon, hold on to me.
Game over.
But she was never gonna leave.
She believed in it all
way too much to ever change.
So that's exactly where we left her.
♪ We sailed to the seven seas ♪
♪ Searching for the missing key ♪
♪ Unlocking you ♪
♪ The world's harmony ♪
♪ We climbed the highest mountain range ♪
♪ Then we took the longest day... ♪
And as for the rest of us...
...we carried away our sins and made our way
back to wherever it was we called home...
...to pick up the pieces
of whatever was waiting.
Of course, you can never forget
what you've done.
But we adapt.
We carry on.
♪ The heat and rhythm in the rivers run ♪
♪ And blinding faith in the desert sun ♪
♪ Hear them today ♪
♪ Play all as one ♪
♪ Distant voices sang the far-off sky ♪
♪ Led us to that elusive prize ♪
- Can I get you anything?
- No, thanks.
And me?
I still believe in paradise.
But now, at least I know
it's not some place you can look for.
Because it's not where you go...
...it's how you feel for a moment in your life
when you're a part of something.
And if you find that moment...
...it lasts for ever.
♪ Song "Lonely Soul" by UNKLE
featuring Richard Ashcroft ♪
♪ God knows, you're lonely souls ♪
♪ God knows, you're lonely souls ♪
♪ God knows, you're lonely souls ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ I believe there's a time and a place ♪
♪ To let your minds reflect ♪
♪ Get out of this place ♪
♪ I believe there's a day and a place ♪
♪ That we will go to ♪
♪ and I know you wanna share ♪
♪ There's no secret to living ♪
♪ There's no secret to living ♪
♪ Just keep on walking ♪
♪ There's no secret to dying ♪
♪ There's no secret to dying ♪
♪ Just keep on flying ♪
♪ I'm gonna die in a place ♪
♪ that don't know my name ♪
♪ I'm gonna die in a space ♪
♪ that don't hold my name ♪
♪ Oooh-ooh ♪
♪ Walking in the cold ♪
♪ Just keep on flying ♪
♪ God knows, you're lonely souls ♪
♪ God knows, you're lonely souls ♪
♪ God knows, you're lonely souls ♪
♪ God knows, you're lonely souls ♪
♪ Ye-eah, ye-eah ♪
♪ Ye-eah, ye-eah, ye-eah ♪
♪ All the lonely souls ♪
♪ Place that don't know my name ♪
♪ A-ha ♪
♪ A-ha ♪
♪ I'm gonna die in a place ♪
♪ That don't know my name ♪
♪ Because we are lonely souls ♪
♪ Lonely souls ♪
♪ Lonely souls ♪
♪ Lonely soul ♪
♪ I'm a lonely soul ♪
♪ So long in the shadows ♪
♪ I got your lies ♪
♪ I got your lies ♪
♪ Ohhhh ♪
♪ Ohhhh ♪
♪ I needya now ♪
♪ Ahhh ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ I needya ♪
♪ Rushin' in ♪
♪ Ohhh ♪
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